I am not complaining.
I am trying my best to make my blog as a full of colours of happiness and joys. The fact is grey and black are also a part of colours too.
Merenung sejenak, bermuhasabah diri. I asked myself. What do I want? The answer is not just as simple as I want a Ferrari. It is about who I want to share my life with, who am I in the next 10 years, what is my achievement, where do I live.. and the most important thing is... How am I going to reach those answers by winning everyone's heart and ensure no one will gets hurt?
Do you know that low self confidence is a poison in your life? I need to bring up this confidence level. It is tough when you are trying so best to stand up but there are so many things that bringing you down....
This... keep on looping on my mind... badly.
I keep on telling myself that the fear is just within yourself. Nothing to be afraid of unless melibatkan Allah and death. But the fear keep on haunting me.
Pressure.
There is a thing that keep on pressuring me. A b*itch keep on pressuring me. WTF woman. I did criminal zero. I dont even owe your damn father's money. Stop disturbing me.
I know... this is just a small matter. But have u ever know pasal Firaun yang mati hanya sebab seekor lalat? Although it is just a small thing (from your point of view) it is a big thing for me.
I am not sharing this matter with others because of no one deserves to feel so sad and bad because of me. I dont want to be a burden for anyone else... no more. Especially my family.
OK... I am just realized that I am writing terkeluar topik sudah.
I am talking rubbish... one here n there... this is how my mind's state.
This is...
painful.
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